Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Sad News ...

I know I’ve been quiet, but quiet is all I have been able to be these last days. Our cat Mickey is really sick. Eric took him to the vet early Monday morning and brought back the news that he has diabetes. The vet thought it might be controlled with pills and that everything could work out pretty well.

Against all odds, we allowed ourselves a crazy kind of optimism even though everything in me said we weren’t getting a pass on this one. So I truly wasn’t surprised when the phone rang this morning at eight with bad news. The diabetes is much worse than the quick test showed it to be. He’s old and his quality of life is compromised. We can try the injections twice a day, or we can, as they euphemistically say, “put him down.” Our decision.

But how do you decide? Do you hang on no matter what and watch him fade slowly away, or, worse yet, suffer? Or do you let it all be over now before any of that happens? I don’t know what’s right. I will never know what’s right.

He lets me hold him now, something I could only do briefly before. He would sit on my lap, sprawl out on top of me if I lay on the couch, but no carrying or holding, please. His gaze is sad and steady. Mine is filled with tears.

Mickey will be leaving us on Friday, so I will not be here until then. Time is short and after all these years I owe him a prolonged goodbye. But then, when it’s over, I want to tell you his story. It’s a good one. So is he.

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